My Last Year

In Sept. of 2010 on my 41st birthday I found out that my husband of 12 years had been cheating on me with my friend/neighbor.  This marked the day where it all begun.  The last year has had many up's and down's for me.  I guess you could say I have good days and bad, good weeks and bad, and good months and bad. 

When I first found out that X was cheating on me it was horrible.  Before that point in my life I never understood how someone could take their own life but I will not lie, the thought did cross my mind a few times.  At times it felt that was my only option to heal the horrible pain I felt inside.  Of course being a mother of two beautiful children I would have never followed through but the thought was there.  It was at that time I visited my doctor for some medication to help me through that time and went to see a psycologist.  Both helped me.  It took me about 2 1/2 months to heal to the point where I could actually function again.  I had finally gotten to the point in my life where I kick myself in the ass and said snap out of it, you are better than this.

My first course of action was to move (due to X moving in with GF 3 doors down from me) then I got back my love of life and started going out with friends and spending a great deal of time with my family.  Without my friends and family not sure how I would have made it.  It was during this time that I decided that moving again to be closer to my family and true friends, you know the once you've had since HS, the ones that know you inside and out.  So I picked my kids up and moved back to my hometown.  This is probably one of the best decisions I've made.  I love being back there and having the support of my family.  Love spending more time with my HS friends.  My children have adjusted well too.

So this pretty much brings me to where I am today.  Of course there have been things during this year that I will talk about in different post but here I am.  My X and I are friends.  There was a lot of bitterness and fighting for a while but I found peace with it all and decided it was in the best interest of our daughter to be friends, put the past behind us, and move on.  That is what we have done.

I'm not expecting or even wanting people to read this blog.  This is for me....it is for me to post my thoughts and feelings from a day to day basis.  A place where I can go back to and reflect on my feelings.